Gang Stalking

A upto date blog about my adventures with gangstalking. This is my way of sharing with the world what gang stalking is really like. Some helpful books. Gang Stalking Books Mobbing Books

Sunday, September 19, 2010

Tired

Spirit

Lately, well for the longest time lately I have been so focused on the basic everyday things, that I feel like I have been neglecting my spirit and that's a bad thing.

See most people survive in this western society feeling disconnected, most don't even realise that there is more than just their psychical body, but the truth is we are mind, body, and spirit and to neglect either can have dire consequences.

Neglecting your spirit is like neglecting an important friendship or relationship. When mind, body, and spirit are one everything just flows and everything just feels connected, everything is right, and more importantly everything just flows. When you are away from your spirit you are disconnected, you don't know what is going on in your own being and that can be a bad thing.

When you neglect your spirit to pursue material things, your needs are not being meet in spirit, it's like not feeding your physical body, and that can be bad. Unfortunately in western societies you are pushed to the edges, having to focus on the daily necessities at times, and more and more people are becoming disconnected from their spirits. This is happening to many people, and many families.

When you finally do tune back in again to your spirit you just might be surprised at all that has happened, or you might be surprised at what your emotional needs are, and that they have not been meet, even though you thought that they were being meet. Spirit needs more, it needs constant connection, and people do better when they are connected to their spirits.

Appreciated

Someday's you do your best, and you don't feel like your best is good enough. You don't feel valued or appreciated, you feel like after all that I have done, how could such and such do this, or say that, and it can leave you feeling let down, but someday's it's not about anything that you have done, it's just about where the other person is and what they are going through.

Eg. I have people who from time to time come to the blog and they are like, well if you were a real site you would do this that or the other. Or they try to use my site to promote another group, that I know is phony. Or they make remarks like well your site isn't doing enough to help me, your pointless.

If I internalized any of that it could leave me in a bad place. It could leave me feeling like my site was not good enough, upset going after all I have done, how could you do that, or unappreciated. The reality is, quite a bit has been done, but we have not reached the promised land. People are still suffering. It does not mean that a lot has not been done, but targets are still suffering. They are looking for help, and even though there is more information available, even though we now know what is behind this, it does not help when a target has had a frustrating day, when their needs are not being meet. It leaves them feeling like the site does not care, or that they are not really being helped, and some of them do things like go off looking to other sources to fill their needs that they have. People are human, some can handle being alone, others need these groups that have formed, everyone is different, and everyone handles things in different ways. If I internalized any of that, it would leave me in a bad place, but I don't. I realize that sometime people do a lot, and the efforts are rewarded in a bad way, and that's not always avoidable, but I do feel sad or sorry when that happens, cause the good and bad you do in this and other realms should balance.

Then there are other days where people write in and they are thankful for the site, they tell me it played a pivotal role, that it just answered those vital questions that they had. At those times I know the role that was played was vital, important and at times like that I feel like I have done what I am suppose to be doing.

Staying open

It's important to try to stay open. Lately I have not been doing a good job of that. To be honest before the Gang Stalking stuff and even now, I liked being a private person. It's sick and disgusting that people watch you in your home, people think that they understand this but they truly don't. Many will sympathize, there, there, but until it happens to them, then it's a different story. When they are the ones on camera, people watching them in their intimate and private moments, then they understand and suddenly the surveillance isn't so funny, suddenly there are cries and requests for privacy, a sudden awareness that, hey that's not right. Well the truth is it was never right, not for targets to be living under the microscope, like animals in some sick experiment, but there it is.

After all this though, I am still expected to stay open, like I am leading this normal existence. Targets get hit day in day out, it's one thing after another, but then people still expect you to care about the mundane day in day out stuff, and someday's you just can't. Before I was a target I really didn't care what others thought of me, and since I have been a target it's taught me to care even less and less. When I see the truth of mans inhumanity to man, it leaves you a bit cold and distant, but mostly I think, how can I care what people this stupid say and or think about me? I just don't. You just learn not to. After watching people who should know better believe every stupid rumor that comes along, every stupid set up, you just learn to disconnect and realize that people are in many case just not that smart, they will believe anything, and then you just move on.


Generalizations


Try not to generalize, everyone is not the same, but when you see enough stupid reactions, you start to lump people together, to think that they are all the same, and not everyone is the same. When we are open we understand that, when we are not open, we don't understand that.

What I realize is that mind, body, spirit is an important connection. Maybe you can't spend your life being aware of all that happens in spirit, heck most people don't even believe they have one, for those who do, you can't be divided either. Your emotions effect your spirit, and your spirit effect your emotions, the two might be separate, but in other ways they are one. It's not diviisable like many of us hope. If we are upset, angry, hurt, and not honest about it, those emotions will come out in dreams or spirit. If we are happy in spirit in a good place, those emotions will bleed through to you in the real world, wither you know it or not. That's why it's important to have some kind of balance, to not ignore your spirit, cause you could find yourself in places or situations you do not like, appreciate, or want to be in.

Judgement

It's easy to judge people from your life view, from your perspective. See none targets judge targets everyday. They have no clue what many targets face day in day out. How they suffer, most targets don't talk about this stuff, cause it falls on deaf ears, or only others targets would understand. It's the same reasons soldiers often do not talk to civilians about war, civilians can say that they understand, but most people really don't. The problem with war is we want the gentle social conditions to be met, we hear that a battle hardened soldier did this that or the other and freak out, we want the normal rules to apply and they just don't. With targets it's the same, we let them suffer years of psychological abuse, physical torture, systemic targeting, social ostracism, and then society get's upset when targets don't play by the rules. When you emotional, physical, even spiritual life is a war zone or battle field different rules apply. It's the means of survival, and society does not get that, cause they do not understand what the target is going through. Many targets suffer, and bleed internally, but there are no exit wounds. They suffer, but there are not always burn marks, so people don't understand, and expect us to care about the mundane things.

For those who read about the recent targeting of David Dee's, you can see how freaked out he was after just a few weeks of gaslighting, but for many targets that's become their worlds and they have lived like that day in day out, for months, for years. traumatized, abused, unable to understand the inhumanity around them, unable to get help from anyone or anything. Then we are expected to play and abide by the normal rules, when the normal rules don't apply. We saw the end result recently for Yvonne Hiller who finally snapped lost it, and killed. It's the most horrible thing in this world when people drive you to such an inhumane act, and the sad part is no one wants to take ownership for helping her get there, society just wants to believe that she was crazy, but the reality is so different.

Neglecting

Someday's, weeks, months I am neglecting people that need me. In the real world and online world. For this I am so deeply sorry. I get so caught up sometimes in trying too find ways to get this stuff stopped, challenged, exposed, that I forget or neglect the things, and people that are truly important to me, in spirit and flesh. Lately it's been like trying to figure out how to get out of this bad stretch which still continues takes up a lot of time and energy. I know all too well things don't work out in the real world, people have neglectful attitudes. People who could help, don't. You feel let down, and then in turn let others down, and that is not ok, that is not alright.

What I do someday's is like a full time position, but it does not pay off in the same ways, it's like a volunteer position in many ways. It's like that for many, but you still do the best that you can, and still try to produce the best results that you can, and then others still want to have their needs met, while someday's you have been neglecting or unable to meet your own basic needs. Sometimes you look around and think surly help will come, but the reality is after doing this for 5 years or more now, this is about it. It teaches you to be self reliant in some ways, to not depend on others, cause most times they fail you when you need them the most. It makes you feel alone at times, but I do know that no matter what I am going through others are going through the same, and so I am not alone.

There are those who have been kind, helpful, been there when I needed help, I am truly grateful, but I know that even those resources are not limited. Like most targets I too focus on the daily survivals of it all. Pray for the best, hope that a way will present itself, and live to the best of my abilities.

For many in society today the in's and outs are hard enough, but when you are up against a system, it's just that much harder, and then people want the same rules to apply, but the reality is we are in an unseen battle that many don't even want to acknowledge is ongoing. They want us to act the same, care about the same silly material things,when being a target those things lose a lot of meaning. When you can't trust that your new items will not be destroyed, befouled in your home, when you don't know if your items you leave behind will be poisoned, or sullied, your focus becomes quite different, and it's hard for you to connect with those who care about the stupid things in life. The rules are not the same for targets, we play for our survival. Again some people seem to think that I am doing this for the fun of it all, that is just not the case. I do doing this cause if I don't, more targets will fall by the wayside, more of these sudden and unexplained violent incidents will happen, unless they can be exposed and stopped.


Figuring me out


I know some days people feel like they almost have to almost be mind readers to figure out what's going on with me, but the reality is, they don't. (The state can and does read minds, and in sick reality they report those things back as if they are physical reality.) I think people who truly care about you, and love you are the best suited to figure you out. I think if someone truly loves you, they will figure out how to help you and support you, the reality is however that a lot of people are just superficial not up to the task, and that's not a bad thing, it just means that finding the right people for the job becomes that much more needful, and vital for survival.

In closing, I am sorry for anyone who feels sad, neglected, hurt, most days I do my best, but I know as targets you have other needs, and even the best efforts most days just don't meet the horrific reality that comes with being a Targeted Individual. Words are not enough, but they are what I can offer for now. I am hoping to be back on par, hoping that my basic Maslow's Hierarchy of needs chart will be meet, so that I can be back to meeting the needs of others soon. Till then all my best, and what support I can give, I do, you have my support and encouragement.

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2 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Consider also that there may be something else acting on soldiers getting them to act out after a war. Maybe it isn't the war alone; maybe the government (or some other factions with power and connections) has secretly targeted some veterans to dispose of them? A lot of them probably know "too much" about military intelligence, etc., and maybe they witnessed the military and their "secret programs" on targeting innocent civilians.

Sunday, September 19, 2010  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

This sounds so strange because I have no idea who you are or your story. We all handle things differently and you sound very sensitive. Just the ability to maintain that makes you a winner. But if you are connected with other TIs, well, than you have a space to share issues with those who understand. I like your comments by the way. I don't know about the Health and Safety list, that may be country specific, but I like your posts. They are clear.

Monday, September 27, 2010  

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