Still pretty happy

Still pretty happy

I am sorry that I have not updated this sooner. I pretty private person, but I think sharing bit's and pieces here and there would not be too amiss.

The last couple of years kept me on the outside of a part of my life I really wanted to be in on. I felt excluded and I hated that, it made me feel like I was not a part of the equation, just a passive viewer, if even that. It's like being semi-remote viewer on your own life, always on the outside, wondering what is going on. Feeling only valued for one purpose and not much else. I have been there and I hated it.

What I hate even more would be to unintentionally make anyone feel that way, cause that would not be the case. People have value and that's how I feel.

Lately I have been trying to stay out of my spiritual side to a degree, again not cause I want to be, because I am happier than I have been in a really long time, but it's cause I realise like I said before, spirit is just not as divisable as I use to think, and maybe that is because I was on the outside looking in so much.

I am failing miserable at times, cause being happy is contagious and who does not like to be happy? Anyways I find myself happy, smiling, and that flows through, wither I want it to or not. I feel at peace, balanced, and just hormonic.

I feel joy, and that's a good thing. On a spiritual level, everything is fine, and in a legitimate place "to the best of my knowledge." My internal dialouge seems to be fine, I do find that I am picking up a bit of a "Hick Twang" from somewhere, when I tune into my internal dialouge it's there, and it cracks me up, wonder where that could be coming from? :-)

Anyways, I think that's as much appropriate sharing on this side that I can do. I am happy in spirit, and it shines through into this realm.

Affirmation

This is a little affirmation. It's just a quick follow up to the I Am Happy post.

I want to stay happy. For me this means on a spiritual level staying as far away as I can from those things that made me unhappy. It means not going back to the darkness, and staying in the light.

I like breathing in air. I like when an experience is right the fact that it just flows. For me the last few years really shook my beliefs in how things worked when they were right, how things flowed. The reason being that in some spiritual aspect, I was not in a good place, where things flowed, where things worked. I just was not happy.

The brief glimpse of happy that I had restored my faith in that, brought air back into my lungs, and I don't ever willingly or unwilling want to be dragged back into that place. It was an unappreciated place, that did not love or care for me, it was a place that brought me unhappiness.

I feel the flow that I had not felt for awhile, and I don't want anything to do with the place where I was. I see now that when you are around the right situations, people, that love you, care for you, nurture you, it makes all the difference, and it's as clear as a bell.

There is no confusion, psychological manipulation, no game, just a free flow, and that is where I am going to be. I am moving forward. I think the glimpse of what a happy stable, well cared for spirit, has been an inspiration for me.

It's restored my faith in a lot of things. I find now that I am able to distance myself from things and people that are not good for me on a physical plane. I still wish I had more control of distancing, or permanently removing unwanted elements, on a spiritual level, but I think that will come in time.

Being happy, even if it's for a moment makes such a difference. I feel back in my game, so this is just a quick affirmation of that.


The old game, that was played for the last few years stop here. I am moving forward, I am distancing myself from the last few years of things that did not work for me in spirit, I want nothing to do with that path, it was not a well path, and it is not something that I want.

I have found new paths, that have been kind, warm, welcoming, and those paths, or similar are where I will be in spirit, and if I can find similar on this plane, I might just do the same.

Happy

http://gangstalking.wordpress.com/2008/05/10/the-veil/

I am happy. I have not been able to say this for a really long time.

I mean the gang stalking has not been great, but even that get's old after a time. The same stupid stunts, people that I think are too stupid to wash a car, much less following me around, I watch them act hysterical at times and think, gosh they are stupid. After a time I learned to tune that out, and focus on my spirit.

See I really do believe that we are mind, body and spirit. I think we are spirit, having a human experience. You hear that on talk shows a lot, but what does it mean?

As I have explained before, I think we start off as spirit and come to earth, or other plains of existence to have experiences we could not have in spirit.

I believe one thing I came here to learn was about man's inhumanity to man and how that could happen. When I was younger, the history books, just could not explain how people could be so mean to each other, how they could hurt each other so much. WWII Germany and the events that happened as taught by the history books made no sense, and a large part of what I wanted to do was understand how people could be so mean to each other. I understand this now. Without the Gang Stalking, I could not have. So was this experience arranged to help me understand, reach a higher spiritual level? Maybe. Maybe this experience was called into my realm, cause I so desperately wanted to understand how people could be so mean to each other.


Still aside from that, I wanted to focus on my spirit. Gang Stalking can really kill the spirit, if you let it. It put's you in the midst of people who hate you for no real justifiable reason except they believe some fake label that you have been given, is it right, is it fair? No but it's life.

A couple of years ago, I thought I was going to embark on a truly wondrous spiritual journey. I though maybe I was going to be lucky and finally understand more spiritual things. Instead I think I let in some bad spiritual elements, which took my soul on a bad journey, that I could have done without. I think I really tuned out of some things spiritual, because I simply was not happy, and wanted things to change on a spiritual level, but did not know how to make it so. I believe we have a human will, and a spiritual will, and the two do not have to see eye to eye.

So I just tuned out, and I think when you are around bad or parasitic elements, if they see the opportunity, they will just take advantage, and it draws worst, and worst things into your realm. Also more and more paracitic elements. I think also the opposite is true, when you have good elements around you, it makes a world of differenct. I think that is where I was. Then I did a lot of praying. Some times when you are bummed out, you forget what an effective weapon prayer is. But I prayed, and recently, much to my absolute shock and amazement, I tuned into my spirit to find that my spirit is happy.

Happy is not the right word, but it's the polite one that I have decided to use. Somewhat like going from a sunless sky for years, to your first rays of light in a very long time. Like breathing in air again. Ofcourse tuning into my spirit created a few dilemmas. Awareness is such a strange thing, however being spiritually aware, even if it's only a little bit changes things, vs someone who is completely blank.

I think two people could be in the exact same place spiritually and one be really aware and affected by it and another not. In researching Gang Stalking, I was surprised that there were quite a few targets that were emotionally aware of the energy draining affect of being around the informants. I think I have discussed spiritual shielding before and why it's needful in a situation such as the ones we find ourselves in.

So my spirit is in a legitimate place, a bit settled and happy, but I am here, being Gang Stalked and trying to prove the conspiracy. I wrote a long time that I think you can live in two worlds, by saying that, I was referring to a blog I came across http://www.in2worlds.net, and by that I just mean you can have a physical experience, but be aware of your spiritual life as well.

I think for me this creates another dilemma currently, and being happy in spirit, really does bleed through the matrix, just like being sad in spirit does. I deeply hated being unhappy in spirit, cause you feel like spirit is this thing that is separate, that you have no control over. I still feel this way, but I think you can influence your spirit for the better, and I think that is something each person should strive to do.

So dilemma that I had I temporarily solved it. I have to some degree tuned out of my spirit again, blocked out some aspects, not cause I want to, but I think it's the right thing to do for the time being. I am a bit of a wet blanket that way.

I do know now that when I dream, I am happy, I just don't recall too many of them, but I like dreaming now, where I don't think I did for a while previous to this.

I think it's good to be aware of the fact that we are body, mind, and spirit, but it's also good to be aware that it can cause some unexplained delima's sometimes.

So my gratitude for sleep that is actually peaceful, and an internal world that is for once calm, and well. My awake world remains as it always has been, but I have a slight, faint awareness of being happy, somewhere else, and the little that I let through, I am grateful for.

New Worlds

I was watching some videos the other day about how sound affects us, and I remember that at the end of one of the videos it was saying, this world is ending, let's create new worlds.
Wouldn't that be cool creating new worlds with sound?

Anyways this post is mostly a fluff post. Not too Gang Stalking Related. Well it is sort of because, I was remembering when my Gang Stalking first started. I was really unhappy, bored consistently, and I had by that stage been putting up with about 7 years of workplace mobbing by that time. It had taken a bit of a toll.

Anyways my energy levels were not at a high point then, and that is when this seems to have had it's zenith into my life. I think this robs you of so much if you let it, and I think in some ways you can begin to change this.

Recently I have had to accept so much weird stuff. Gang Stalking, Government creepiness, the world inching to a one world government with civilian spies already in place in most countries around the world.

I have also come to the acceptance that wither we want to believe it or not, we really at times do
live in two worlds. That's hard to fathom. Even if you see it you would hardly believe it, but hopefully in time in your heart you would know it was true, even if you could not verify it in any other way.

That got me thinking about movies with space and time travel, like terminator and Kyle who travels across time for Sarah. Ofcourse if time is not linear, then he really didn't travel across time, in the traditional sense. It also got me thinking about Dracula.

That movie was great. I mean here is a prince who fights this great battle, only to have his love die, and then he manipulates time and chance to find her again, a chance for them to be together again, only to have it fail, and have her end up with some insipid dude. (No offense to the keeneu Reeves character.)

I think that movie was great and I think if I was going to write a part two to that movie, I would have the roles reversed. I would have a lady waiting for her prince. On the eve of a great battle he falls. Sword in hand, his horse fails and he falls. She senses his death and her heart dies, she grieves for him across time and space, her cries are so loud, and so compelling. He also makes a promise to come back to her, even as he is dying he knows he will come back to her.

The universe hears his promise and her prayers, or whatever happens when a great love is unfulfilled. I think it would be something like the seal song, love's divine. "Then the rainstorm came, over meAnd I felt my spirit breakI had lost all of my, belief you seeAnd realized my mistakeBut time threw a prayer, to meAnd all around me became still

I need love, love's divinePlease forgive me now I see that I've been blindGive me love, love is what I need to help me know my name

Through the rainstorm came sanctuaryAnd I felt my spirit flyI had found all of my realityI realize what it takes

'Cause I need love, love's divinePlease forgive me now I see that I've been blindGive me love, love is what I need to help me know my name

Oh I, don't bet (don't bend), don't break (don't break) Show me how to live and promise me you won't forsake 'Cause love can help me know my name

Well I try to say there's nothing wrongBut inside I felt me lying all alongBut the message here was plain to see Believe me."

I think I would include the scene where Dracula bids Mina to remember and she remembers and cries the diamond tear, that was really cool. Her heart died when she thought he was dead, and would not return to her. http://youtube.com/watch?v=klor7Qr6c3g&feature=related
http://youtube.com/watch?v=zwqCQl-jCBU&feature=related

I think in part two they would get to have that great mind link thing, like Mina and Dracula did. I can't think what the ladies name would be, but I would have the prince be Aton, Alex, or Adam, or something like that, since Mina has four letters ending in an A. I would like to make the prince for part two be fair and blue to contrast the dark look of Dracula character of part one.

Ofcourse since the world does not believe in happy endings, I suppose that part two will not work out any better than Dracula part one did. That's a shame, you would think that travelling across time, and the universe giving a second chance for happiness, for two people who grieved and loved each other would work out. Again Mina could have just walked away from her friends and been with her prince, but she choose a different path. Maybe part two should have a different ending.

Anyways, other movie that I liked that dealt with time travel, was forbidden kingdom. Vampire movies were sort of last season. This season if you have to see something, I suggest you see The Forbidden Kingdom. Jet Li, Jackie Chan, action packed can I say anything else? It also deals with the mystical, and it's amazing. I am a total Jet Li fan. That movie kicked ass, and I had so much fun seeing it. Worth seeing again.

It's about an monkey king, who loses his weapon, and a traveller must return it, it also has immortals, and a young sparrow looking for vengeance. The movie also goes between two worlds. It has this cool chick, who has this wicked whip thing, and her hair does the same thing. (She is a little bit bitter and does trust the words or promises of men, because they lie, but the chick can hold her own.) She was cool. All the characters were amazing.

Visually it reminded me of the movie hero, and crouching tiger hidden dragon. From start to finish is was amazing. I enjoyed every minute of it. I can't wait to see part two. There has to be a part two. A movie that good has to have a second part to it. I am almost sure it will. (I hope the whip chick is back for part two if they do.)

So in continuing with my theme about being in two worlds at once, when one world ends, then you just create another. We are these powerful spiritual creatures, that is part of this lie that the world does not want us to wake up to. We are on these amazing journeys, and we have so much potential if we let ourselves.

For the first time in a long time, I am really happy, my energy levels have been getting back to what they were before the Gang Stalking thing. I am more in tune with myself. My dream world and my waking world. Before it was like a lot of the stuff that I would dream, I would not fully remember because I was so distracted by the Gang Stalking, Electronic Harassment torture stuff. Now that I am less distracted, I am a bit more in tune with my dream world and waking world. We travel in dreams, and often live out what we will do in the real world. Stuff is decided in dreams before they are accomplished in the real world. You can have spirit wolrds, that no one can hear touch or feel, but other spiritual beings. Promises can be made it the spirit world, and they can also be broken, just like in the real world. Path can be created, forgotten, and even abandoned.

The nice thing however is that we are not just passive beings on these paths, we are powerful creators, with a fully active say to what happens, and the choices we make. That is the neat thing that I am discovering, and I feel more hopeful than I have in a really long time, because I now know that, when one world ends, you simply create another.

A weekend in the life of gangstalking.

A weekend in the life of gangstalking. Ok this weekend I was suppose to do some long overdue Targeted Individual shopping, but since I finally am starting to get back to doing my normal things that meant spending some time online and touching base with some people not related to gang stalking. Yes before this began I did have another life.

http://www.Youtube.com.

Ok this weekend was great. My youtube finally started functioning 100% again. I swear I am dating youtube sometimes. For the last two months it did not work as well as it should. The electronic harassment stuff does not seem to bother my computer, but the microwave stuff is not the best for me or my computer.

Anyways I spent the weekend catching up on my youtube vids that I had missed. I caught up on the David Icke series I had been wanting to see for some time. I caught up on some other videos that I had wanted to see. I also got to see the two banned episodes of this show called the boondocks. It was time well spent.

Blogs

Let's go to newly discovered blogs next. I discovered all these great blogs this weekend. Most of them can be found on the links section of the website, but if you don't want to visit it on your own, let me highlight just a few of the many I discovered here.

http://apocalypto-wanderings.blogspot.com/

Now this is Bills blog above. He is a retired pilot who lives in Floria. He has a wicked attitude and he is not afraid to scare off perps with the great liberal gun laws that Florida has. (Hey I am not advocating, but it was a funny and refreshing read.) However lately they have been hitting him with what sounds like microwaves as well. He's a tuff one like me and he is hanging in there. He says that Florida is a great place for targets cause they have all these liberal gun laws. Anyways a nice read and lot's of fun.

http://badexperiment.com/

A blog by a Targeted Individual. The blog is suppose to be from a Christian perspective. (Aren't most of them?) Anyways, this target claims to have gotten over gang stalking. I am not sure that is the case, but the blog is a refreshing read. The story is told eloquently and it's easy to follow and just flows. I really enjoyed this blog more than I expected. I added some of the choice posts from this blog, to the posts with the most section of the site.

http://in2worlds.net/gangstalking-and-targeted-individuals

In 2 worlds. Oh my gosh this blog was just so in tune with what I was going through. Where my thoughts were heading. It really goes ahead of the game. I only got through a few really good quality posts. I wish I had had more time to get through the whole blog, but my weekend was a full one online. However this blog rounded out the day and it just seemed to fall right in line with all that I had read and experienced. For the first time since Gang Stalking started. I really feel like I am falling back in sync with where I am suppose to be. As you saw from the mini blurb I posted on the site.

Finding the potentials. You know from my last posting that I am on a real find the potentials kick. So really this weekend was all about that. I don't really know how to find them offline. Well accidentally I do, but not deliberately. There was that one time, but I ended up following the wrong person, this is before I understood more of the one handed sign language.

Anyways so I spent some time on google, yahoo, youtube trying to find them. That took up a good chunk of the weekend. However I discovered a site called

http://www.experienceproject.com

There was a group called "I Am Being Stalked And My House Is Being Bugged And Wiretapped - Forum " Can you believe that. There were like 5 people in that group, that had experienced this stuff. None of them had a name for what was happening to them, or anything. I think I can say I hit the jackpot with this group. So I spent the weekend emailing them, and just adding a whack of stuff to their group. Eg. Links, articles, books, videos,etc.

Before i got there they were getting the usual community support. Eg. You are nuts, why would strangers want to stalk you, you are not that important, have you seen a doctor, I was on drugs and thought that was happening to me. etc. Anyways I shone my gangstalking light into that darkness. Notice the haters faded away?

After that I started a Gang Stalking group on the site. This occupied most of my afternoon. http://www.experienceproject.com/group_profile.php?g=88474

Feel free to join if you wish. Ok, but I did not stop there. I also found one more potential and someone who had questions.

http://www.safe4all.org/forums/message-view?message%5fid=61437

I think this also sounds like it could be Gang Stalking.
Then I found this great Oprah thread. Bout time someone there strikes up the conversation.

http://www.oprah.com/community/message-view.jspa?messageID=449335&stqc=true
I had other fun online, but I think that is the bulk of my shenanigans.

I also felt for once that i was experiencing something really spiritual. I realise that the body can be in one place, but the mind can almost be walking in 2 worlds. Again why discovering that blog was so in tune with my thoughts.

Anyways it was such a fulfilling weekend. I really felt in sync with so many things. I think spiritually I am getting back to where I need to be, where I was before a lot of this started.
The thing I am discovering about targets is more of what I knew. They are these bright, intelligent people. The things that they are into. When I read their blogs, it's just really shines through for me, and a lot of times I see a lot of me in their postings. It's amazing, but I am actually finding people I like, and would want to connect to. People that I have this amazing, albeit weird shared experience with. It's great in some ways, but painful in others, because I wish that I could do more.

Like one potential said to me on the weekend, what's the point of these sites if they can't tell us how to get justice or how to get this stuff to stop? My answer is that it's just knowing the truth, having the shared experience, knowing you are not going crazy. For me when I found out there was a name for what was happening to me, I was so happy. The potential I spoke to on the weekend, was crying, she could not believe that after how many years there was a name for
what was happening.

I do wish that I could have done more, but for now, being able to find her, and put a name to what was happening to her, (provided she was a real target) was all that I could do. I am hoping that by finding them, it will help to give them a fighting change. I know it did for me. I will always be grateful for finding that link to Gang Stalking. It answered years of questions, and it finally confirmed things that I suspected, but would not, could not voice. It was a light and if I can pay it forward I will.

Anyways, I have not heard back from any of the other potentials, but I will keep you updated. They all were sent emails, but wither they arrived, is another story.

Oh I also touched base with DaveinDublin, he has seen the post, but it's hard to say much else on the subject, so I won't.

Anyways, it was such a fulfilling and worthwhile weekend. I am sure the outside world missed me, but I was doing what I could do and it felt so good. Also it's the one weekend where if I was charged with a crime, I could pretty much prove my whereabouts, just by my online postings and interactions. Kinda neat. :-)

Living single and loving it.

This article came out about a month ago, but it's a great article about being single. I think the difference between being single and happy and being single and miserable is all about choice. If you choose to be single, then it's one thing, but if you don't then it can be a living misery. Also if you choose not to be single for the wrong reasons it can also be a huge misery. I think in this as with anything you have to find out what works for you. Also remember that at different stages in your life, what worked yesterday, might not work tomorrow.

http://www.alternet.org/sex/77095/?page=1

[quote]I'm fifty-four years old and I have always been single. I love my single life. But for a long time I rarely said that out loud. I thought I was the only happy single person.[/quote]

NO there seem to be a lot more happily single people in the world. I think it's only the perception that has thrown others off. Being single can be a good thing if that is where you are at.

[quote]Years later after I had read hundreds of scientific studies about marital status, happiness, and discrimination, and after I conducted my own program of research, I realized that much of the conventional wisdom about people who are single was either grossly exaggerated or just plain wrong. The place of singles in society and the significance of getting married have changed dramatically over the past decades. But our views of single and married people have not yet caught up.[/quote]

The perception is if you are single, male or female that you can't be perfectly happy, and the reality is, with modern day society you can be. More so infact than some of your married counter parts. Now I am not knocking marriage or being not single, but I am just pointing out that there are an increasing amount of happy single people out there.

[quote] In one set of studies, for instance, we created profiles of married and single people that were exactly the same (in terms of the person's age, hometown, interests, employment, and so forth) except for their marital status. In one experiment after another, we found that the single people were viewed more negatively than the married people. For example, they were seen as unhappy, lonely, and self-centered compared to their married counterparts. (The one exception is that single people were consistently viewed as more independent than married people.)[/quote]

Again a lot of this goes back to perception and what has always been in the past conventional wisdom, or rather what seemed to be conventional wisdom. In the past for many reasons you needed to be married to keep the household running, to have children, and ofcourse to be seen as anyone in the community.

[quote]We looked up federal statutes and found more than a thousand instances in which official marriage was linked to federal protections and benefits. We found discrimination against singles in the workplace and the marketplace. We then did research of our own on discrimination and found that realtors (and other people we asked) would prefer to rent to married couples than to single women, single men, unmarried couples, or a pair of friends -- even when they all had equally positive references and ability to pay.[/quote]

Again the biggest obstacles that single individual seem to have is society itself and their negative mindset. Once they get past this, many single people do lead very happy and fulfilling lives.

[quote]The story that was taking shape in my mind was becoming clear. Single people are not as happy as married people in part because they are targets of stereotyping and discrimination.[/quote]

This is so true. The article goes on from there and I recommend reading it if you are choosing to be single and loving it. I think in modern day society people have more choices than they did in the past. I think if living single is your choice, then don't let anyone make you think that you would be happy or better off not living single. You can live single and be happy, if it's a choice.

[quote]Increasingly, people who are single are living their lives fully. Those who have the resources to do so are buying homes, traveling the world, and pursuing their passions. Their lives are meaningful -- and yes, they are happy.
[/quote]

Again it all comes down to what works best for you. An interesting article I thought I would share.