Lothlorien I will find you again

To my safe place which provided comfort and safety to my spirit. I found you at a time when my spirit needed rest, security and safety. Though I did not know it at the time, you were a resting place that I would come to adore. A vital element, that changed everything for the better, just when my spirit was running low.

You provided safety, security, kept the dark forces at bay, for a time, as best as you could. But Lothlorien, is not meant to be a fortress, it is meant to be a place to restore, replenish, renew, and you have done that and so much more. To stay on these shores, is to leave this fairy place open to the dark forces that roam.

Lothorien is a safe haven, that I grew to love well. My spirit found peace. My resources in spirit were renewed. I was protected and safe. I have no desire to leave. I would stay and lazy about if I could. In spirit it's is such a lovely place to abide in.



Yet I seek it's equal out in flesh, and such a place is not available, such a place is only available in spirit. To know of such a place is spirit, yet to not be able to find it's rest in flesh is bittersweet.



I am off to find my fortress. I am off to find a Minas Tirith of my own. I seek a fortress of my own, which is accessible in spirit and flesh. A fortress to keep the dark forces at bay. A permanent place of rest. But my eyes can not look away from Lothorian, my mind lingers at it's gates. My feet stay bound to it's shores. I think my beautiful place, i will find you again. Maybe next time, this safe haven will be accessible from all planes.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OQljFLpbPPQ

Democracy

I am feeling that Democracy has failed in some way. Here I am, being targeted and in some ways demonized by the very democratic society and government appendeges that I trusted to protect my freedoms.

In my specific circumstances, lashing out via civil disobedience would not be a good thing. As a target I have to be extremly cognizant of how my actions will be interpreted. As a target I am aware that my actions, words, thoughts, are being scrutinized. At times they will be wrongly interpreted. What might not raise an eyebrow under normal conditions changes due to this listing/flagging. It means that handing out flyers or pamphlets in one circumstance would not draw any attention, in other the exact same actions would be interpreted as a sign of mental illness, or a disturbance to the safety of those around you. This is the kind of stuff targets have to be aware of. The very flagging in of itself without you doing anything can turn regular benign actions into these informants interpreting them in many paranoid and incorrect ways, that could affect your life.


Remember as a part of this flagging/listing we often have incidents staged to make us look as if we are a danger to society, or unsafe. No matter how many times I have pointed this out, it never fails that people consistantly believe the worst without question. It takes such a unique and special person to see past the lies, but that sort is all too often in short supply. The worst at times are those close to you. Remember you often don't have to be present, or involved in an incident, an informant can just make something up and that is enough to keep this targeting going, to keep your flagging going. Remember this was used with Jiverly Wong to help with the rumours lie and slander, that even followed him into death. Remember this is about money, the more people they have liste flagged, or that they can justify flagging, and monitoring the better it is for them. Most people will probably not want to beleive this, but that's is the truth.

Remember that they purposely try to systemically destroy our lives by making it almost impossible for us to earn an income, then if we fail to pay bills, rent, car payments, because they have limited, or restricted our ability to be self sufficient, it's then interpreted as a sign of mental illness. Where the truth is people are deliberatly going behind your back, and pulling strings to destroy your life. This will never be seen in the official interpretations, and proving that this is what is being done is almost impossible for most targets, yet we all report the same things. Life disruptions and interfarences.

It's nice to talk about democracy and how great it is, and how it protects freedoms, but what about when it's being used to destroy freedoms? what do you do then? Do you sit back silently and smile, and criticize the system, but in a way that won't upset it's little feelings? Not if you are me, if you are doing something unjust to me, most cases you will hear about it and not in a pleasent way. That is a sane and human reaction, and unless you are a watered down sheeple, most normal sane people are going to get angry about things that are unjust.

Someone like me should never have been singled out this way, but I was. Someone like me should never have had to spend the last four years getting tortured on a daily basis, but I have been, and it's completely unacceptable. Explaining electronic harassment to someone who has not been targeted by it for 8 hours straight, 24 hrs straight, or days on end is almost impossible to do. Other targets however understand this very well, and at times have talked about this very eloquently. This type of targeting is almost impossible to explain in a credible fashion.

Remember that in addition to heating up the skin, causing the skin to peel in some cases, due to the sorts of burns it causes, or causing blisters, etc, it's physically is torture. It's not like getting hit with an object because you then have the bruses to show as proof.

Yet targets often have to live with this type of targeting on a daily basis. No one to turn to, no one to cry out to, no one to care, and why? Cause in our democratic and none democratic countries alike, people determined that we did not have the same rights, and that it was ok to slander our reputations, to flag and mark us, which left us continual and perpetual targets of various communities, without even the courtesy of a warning so that we could protect ourselves. This is how democracy has worked for me and many others, and what I am saying, have been saying, and will continue to say is that this is not right. If my speach is forceful at times, try walking a week, month, year in my shoes, much less the years I have spent dealing with this. I already know most people could not. This wonderful democratic system decided that it was ok to underhandedly allow others to abuse our rights. These so called citizen informants were given a license to ill, but unlike pedophiles and serial killers who at least get notification that the communities that they are in will be notified, most of us did not even get that kind of courtesy, and we have been treated worst than many of them, cause most of us had no idea why we were being targeted, or why it was allowed to contine without any help or assistance. Yet the people who put these warning marker systems in place had to know or have some idea of the systemic destruction that would be heaped upon individuals with these markers, and thus why it's being used on whistle-blowers, minorities, single women, etc. What a sweet way to silence and destroy someone. All these human rights agencies must by now have some inclining, but still most targets could not find help.


When targets get angry, which is sane and rational under such circumstances, our rights are often further subduded even further. Our justifiable anger is used to paint us as potentially dangerous. Try having your life desrupted in this way, systemically destroyed till it's almost impossible to function and see if you would not get angry too.

People do get upset, and often for good reasons. Many of the men and women in the Gang Stalking community are being demonized, many of them are being tortured via electronic means, many are being falsely commited, put in jail, losing jobs, livelyhoods, many are innocent.

Remember this is not just something that goes on for a few months and then stops like being put on trail, this is something that goes on for years, and while it does, people that were in good jobs, go financially bankrupt, unable to take care of themselves and their families. They watch their kids getting tortured. Some of the women in our community are sexually assulted, with no one to believe them if they go to the police. What kind of democratic country does that to it's own citizens?

I think the saying he who feels it knows it can best be applied here. I think most people who have never expreienced the kind of systemic destruction can not fully understand what targets go through. This is little paper cuts daily. One in and of itself is nothing, but the continued actions over time are designed to break down the targets and leave them with no form of support, no way to support themselves, prove their innocence, and many of us are left to ask, where is democracy? How are we suppose to fight and protect it, when it's failed us so very badly? We are suppose to obstain from saying bad things, and doing bad things, but then we are suppose to sit back daily and be demonized, disinfranchized, and in other cases driven to other extremes.

http://www.indigoribbon.com/Quilt/

In body I am reminded all too easily of the evils of this world. I don't see conspiracy cause I want to, I see conspiracy cause I am living it. Before this I truly believed that governments were there to protect the rights and freedoms of it's citizens, that things like this only happened in none democratic countries, but over a decade of workplace mobbing, Gang Stalking, and Systemic distruction, being deliberate disinfranchizement, has made me a believer.
There is something really wrong going on in these countries, something undemocratic. I have tried to write about it, blog about it and research it all in a peaceful manner. Hopeing that those so called wonderful organizations set up to guard human rights and freedoms would step up to the plate and do what they are suppose to do, they have not. It's shown me that the rights and freedoms of some citizens in these countries matter more than others.

What's happening to targets is probably something some politician will appologise for in years to come. They will come up with some appology, something along the lines of "what we did at the time was wrong, it violated the human rights of these individuals, and we are sorry," but future sorry's if we even get that, will not cut it. sorry does no good. Not for the men, women and children who are being targeted in this manner right now, by something that is highly systemic and structured. I will say it again, I don't see conspiracy because I want to, I see it because I am living it. When I read about the dirty tricks done to others under programs such as Cointelpro, a lot of those dirty tricks are being applied at a local level and that is just not right. That is not suppose to happen in these democratic countries, but it is. This system is not working for some. It's not right to say the system works, when people are disinfranchized to the edges of these systems, and put in situations where they would like to fight back, but find it almost impossible to do so, because their lives are deliberatly being disrupted. People understand systemic racism, so why should understanding systemic targeting be so hard to do?

Most of us would like to do the democratic thing, and if we had millions of dollars, we could do what John Lennon did when the system came after him, we could fight back the democratic way and win. As it stands, because of the billion and one disinfo agents online who spent years leading targets in all sorts of directions but the real one, most of us are tired physically, spent emotionally, and financially doing what we can to look after the basics. The nice thing is that I now hear other voices of dissatisfaction, people who are not targets but who feel let down by the system, who feel just as exhausted physically, emotionally spent, who are also trying to take care of their basic needs. Their voice are being heard now too, and they are expressing a great deal of dissatisfaction with these democratic systems, saying that they are just not working. Somewhere along the line the system also stopped working for them, and yes they are looking closer at government, allegances that keep people like them disinfranchised, and realizing that things might not be as fair and democractic as they too were once lead to believe. They too are starting to see conspiracy, cause when you understand how the system is working, how can you not?

http://www.bloomberg.com/apps/news?pid=20601039&sid=aaIuE.W8RAuU

[quote]Secret Banking Cabal Emerges From AIG Shadows: David Reilly [/quote]

http://www.guardian.co.uk/business/2010/apr/18/goldman-sachs-regulators-civil-charges

[quote]Now we know the truth. The financial meltdown wasn’t a mistake – it was a con

[/quote]

The conspiracies that were once laughed at, are now being taken seriously by the mainstream, see once their lives start to be affected by it, it's a different story, now they are taking seriously what many had been saying for years.

Those legitimate voices of dissent are coming to the surface, but instead of being listened to and understood, they are being demonized, but unlike us, they at least get to hear what is being said about them.


I agree that people should take caution with how they act, what they say, even what they think at times, you never know who is watching, listening, or reading minds. On the other hand people are angry and anger that is bottled up needs a proper release. I agree that violence is not the right way to go, but people need to understand that when you disinfranchise the citizenry, when they do have a voice, or when they see deep injustices in a system that they trusted, this is a channel that some of them are going to gravitate towards. I still preach a non violent approch to resoluion, becuase my targeting has taught me why many of those who have gone before did not choose a path of violence, the state is violent and in many cases choosing such a path, will be dealt with swiftly and brutally and destroy the freedoms of others.

Many can not do what I do, blogging and writing patiently hopeing to get the right sort of attention, while my life is systemically destroyed, there are many who just can not and will not choose this path. We have seen this in America's history with their revolution, and the Frech as well, people will try to work within the system for as long as they can, and I encourage it, but when that system will not work with them, when it breaks their backs and spirits what are they to do? They have formed a tea party? I think that can be a good thing if the energy is channelled in a good way, but right now people are making them look bad, and I think the positive energy that got that movement started will be overshadowed by the bad press, which is a shame. Cause if this movement is suppressed, then smaller movements will likely spring up, and it's hard to know which direction those movements will head in.

Everyone wants democracy, I encourage people to work for it, but would ask otherst to walk a mile of understanding in the shoes of those that are being let down by these democratic systems, if you are not experiencing what it's like, you might not be able to understand where these people are coming from, there legitimate voices of dissent. There is a gap that exists for the have's and the have not's, how the system works for those with, is very different than how it works for those without. People are realising this and starting to ask why, yes it's going to make people uncomfortable, but it's better in some ways for that anger to come to the surface on forums and the like than being supressed. I also agree that at this time, it's well for those online to try to remember to be as responsible as we can. Many doing the monitoring are paranoid and innocent things that we say, are interpreted in extreme ways. Eg. I have observed that every time I would mention a specific extremist site online, I would spend about 48 hrs offline being deeply observed, and followed around in a specific manner. The people doing the monitoring are paranoid, and when dealing with the paranoid, you have to watch what you say, I take the same appoach when dealing with many of the citizen informants. Many are sane rational people trying to get through the day, many others are unhinged, and some others are following a specific agenda which is to set targets up, simply be aware and on your guard. I don't think it's a bad think to give a timely reminder for people to be aware of what is being said.

We have the right to be angry, but let's remember that we have to be careful how that anger is channelled, and try to manage our responses. Most times we type, hit send and don't think how people might be interpreting our words. On our forums 9/11 and conspiracy speaches are common, but to many others they immediately interpret this type of chatter as a danger, something to be managed or dealth with in an extreme way. It's good that we all be cognizant of that.

Snitch or Die

Happy New Year

As the New Year begins, I bring you some famous words from history.

"Injustice anywhere is a threat to justice everywhere." Martin Luther King Jr

Those are the words of Dr Martin Luther King Jr. He lived those words when he spoke out about Vietnam. He was not content to let the injustice of others go, while working towards ending his own oppression. He realised an important lessen that we all must realise. Injustice anywhere is injustice everywhere.

It doesn't matter if it's Gang Stalking, or another oppressive force that is causing harm and injustice, these evils must be confronted in all their appearances. Silence is complacency.
Finally please remember these immortal words.

"The world is a dangerous place, not because of those who do evil, but because of those who look on and do nothing." by Albert Einstein.

It's been an interesting New Year. My electronic harassment and pulse harassment seems to be at an all time high. Not surprising, my goals for the new year remains the same. Exposure and awareness. Maybe even finding some long term way to survive all this craziness.

There were a lot of events that happened over the New Year, many that I would like to talk about, and might even discuss at a later date and time, but the event that is utmost in my mind is the ground offensive that is happening over in Palestine.

I have not had a lot of time to pay attention to what was happening in that region of the world. I have honestly been focusing on my region of the world and doing what I can to expose Gang Stalking.

http://ca.news.yahoo.com/s/afp/090104/world/mideast_conflict_gaza_world

Yet for the last few days, my own troubles have not been foremost on my mind. Even as I am lying in my bed or sitting there trying to work, having my insides fried, my mind is elsewhere. I am thinking about what is happening in another part of the world. I don't like what's happening, it worries me, the fate of an already troubled people. I can not help but feel sympathetic towards their plight.

I have discussed the situation in the middle East before. I don't think either party is innocent in the actions and activities that have been happening, and yet as one political cartoon put it, we seem to have an eye for many eyes.

I would love to see both sides in this conflict come to some kind of peace accord, but until that happens I can not help but feel sorry for the children and innocent adults that will lose their lives and who have lost their lives in air and ground strikes that have been happening.
I also dislike the fact that they are being asked and persuaded to become informants. The message is snitch or die. It might not be worded that way, but after being walled off for close to a year, unable to get proper aid, then an air strike that has killed hundreds, these leaflet's are dropped telling people to snitch or be massacred, the decision is in their hands.

http://www.turkishweekly.net/news/62657/israel-looks-for-gazan-spys-drops-thousands-of-leaflets-over-gaza.html

[/quorte]Israel looks for Gazan spys; drops thousands of leaflets over Gaza
Gaza - Ma'an - Israeli airplanes dropped leaflets calling for Gazans to inform the Israeli military of the whereabouts of projectile launchers in return for aid and assistance.

The papers were found by the thousands all over Gaza Friday morning, and bear the signature of the Israeli military forces.

The leaflet reads:

Dear people of the Gaza Strip,Bear the responsibility for your fate!

The Projectile launchers and the terrorist elements pose a threat on you and your families.

If you wish to provide help and assistance to your people in the sector, call the number below to provide us with the needed information.

The future of the massacre is in your handsDon’t hesitate!

We will be glad to receive any information you have and it is not necessary to give us your personal information.

We will keep it as a secret.Call us at the following number:02-5839749Or e-mail us at:[/quote]

Yeah so they can snitch and turn against their own people, or die basically. That's a really uncool choice.

Iraq has been bullied, bombed into submission and many in that country are now learning all about the Informant system.

Getting people to snitch seems to have been part of the goals that were ongoing before the air offensive began, and now in the middle of the ongoing offensive, the initiative continues.

I really hope that these parties can come to a resolution. I really hope that people on both sides will speak out against what is happening. I really hope that this year can end on a better note than it began.

A weekend in the life of gangstalking.

A weekend in the life of gangstalking. Ok this weekend I was suppose to do some long overdue Targeted Individual shopping, but since I finally am starting to get back to doing my normal things that meant spending some time online and touching base with some people not related to gang stalking. Yes before this began I did have another life.

http://www.Youtube.com.

Ok this weekend was great. My youtube finally started functioning 100% again. I swear I am dating youtube sometimes. For the last two months it did not work as well as it should. The electronic harassment stuff does not seem to bother my computer, but the microwave stuff is not the best for me or my computer.

Anyways I spent the weekend catching up on my youtube vids that I had missed. I caught up on the David Icke series I had been wanting to see for some time. I caught up on some other videos that I had wanted to see. I also got to see the two banned episodes of this show called the boondocks. It was time well spent.

Blogs

Let's go to newly discovered blogs next. I discovered all these great blogs this weekend. Most of them can be found on the links section of the website, but if you don't want to visit it on your own, let me highlight just a few of the many I discovered here.

http://apocalypto-wanderings.blogspot.com/

Now this is Bills blog above. He is a retired pilot who lives in Floria. He has a wicked attitude and he is not afraid to scare off perps with the great liberal gun laws that Florida has. (Hey I am not advocating, but it was a funny and refreshing read.) However lately they have been hitting him with what sounds like microwaves as well. He's a tuff one like me and he is hanging in there. He says that Florida is a great place for targets cause they have all these liberal gun laws. Anyways a nice read and lot's of fun.

http://badexperiment.com/

A blog by a Targeted Individual. The blog is suppose to be from a Christian perspective. (Aren't most of them?) Anyways, this target claims to have gotten over gang stalking. I am not sure that is the case, but the blog is a refreshing read. The story is told eloquently and it's easy to follow and just flows. I really enjoyed this blog more than I expected. I added some of the choice posts from this blog, to the posts with the most section of the site.

http://in2worlds.net/gangstalking-and-targeted-individuals

In 2 worlds. Oh my gosh this blog was just so in tune with what I was going through. Where my thoughts were heading. It really goes ahead of the game. I only got through a few really good quality posts. I wish I had had more time to get through the whole blog, but my weekend was a full one online. However this blog rounded out the day and it just seemed to fall right in line with all that I had read and experienced. For the first time since Gang Stalking started. I really feel like I am falling back in sync with where I am suppose to be. As you saw from the mini blurb I posted on the site.

Finding the potentials. You know from my last posting that I am on a real find the potentials kick. So really this weekend was all about that. I don't really know how to find them offline. Well accidentally I do, but not deliberately. There was that one time, but I ended up following the wrong person, this is before I understood more of the one handed sign language.

Anyways so I spent some time on google, yahoo, youtube trying to find them. That took up a good chunk of the weekend. However I discovered a site called

http://www.experienceproject.com

There was a group called "I Am Being Stalked And My House Is Being Bugged And Wiretapped - Forum " Can you believe that. There were like 5 people in that group, that had experienced this stuff. None of them had a name for what was happening to them, or anything. I think I can say I hit the jackpot with this group. So I spent the weekend emailing them, and just adding a whack of stuff to their group. Eg. Links, articles, books, videos,etc.

Before i got there they were getting the usual community support. Eg. You are nuts, why would strangers want to stalk you, you are not that important, have you seen a doctor, I was on drugs and thought that was happening to me. etc. Anyways I shone my gangstalking light into that darkness. Notice the haters faded away?

After that I started a Gang Stalking group on the site. This occupied most of my afternoon. http://www.experienceproject.com/group_profile.php?g=88474

Feel free to join if you wish. Ok, but I did not stop there. I also found one more potential and someone who had questions.

http://www.safe4all.org/forums/message-view?message%5fid=61437

I think this also sounds like it could be Gang Stalking.
Then I found this great Oprah thread. Bout time someone there strikes up the conversation.

http://www.oprah.com/community/message-view.jspa?messageID=449335&stqc=true
I had other fun online, but I think that is the bulk of my shenanigans.

I also felt for once that i was experiencing something really spiritual. I realise that the body can be in one place, but the mind can almost be walking in 2 worlds. Again why discovering that blog was so in tune with my thoughts.

Anyways it was such a fulfilling weekend. I really felt in sync with so many things. I think spiritually I am getting back to where I need to be, where I was before a lot of this started.
The thing I am discovering about targets is more of what I knew. They are these bright, intelligent people. The things that they are into. When I read their blogs, it's just really shines through for me, and a lot of times I see a lot of me in their postings. It's amazing, but I am actually finding people I like, and would want to connect to. People that I have this amazing, albeit weird shared experience with. It's great in some ways, but painful in others, because I wish that I could do more.

Like one potential said to me on the weekend, what's the point of these sites if they can't tell us how to get justice or how to get this stuff to stop? My answer is that it's just knowing the truth, having the shared experience, knowing you are not going crazy. For me when I found out there was a name for what was happening to me, I was so happy. The potential I spoke to on the weekend, was crying, she could not believe that after how many years there was a name for
what was happening.

I do wish that I could have done more, but for now, being able to find her, and put a name to what was happening to her, (provided she was a real target) was all that I could do. I am hoping that by finding them, it will help to give them a fighting change. I know it did for me. I will always be grateful for finding that link to Gang Stalking. It answered years of questions, and it finally confirmed things that I suspected, but would not, could not voice. It was a light and if I can pay it forward I will.

Anyways, I have not heard back from any of the other potentials, but I will keep you updated. They all were sent emails, but wither they arrived, is another story.

Oh I also touched base with DaveinDublin, he has seen the post, but it's hard to say much else on the subject, so I won't.

Anyways, it was such a fulfilling and worthwhile weekend. I am sure the outside world missed me, but I was doing what I could do and it felt so good. Also it's the one weekend where if I was charged with a crime, I could pretty much prove my whereabouts, just by my online postings and interactions. Kinda neat. :-)

So where have I been?

I have been taking an emotional break from it all. Sometimes the Gang Stalking thing can get a little bit weary and tiring, I mean we are all human right?

Also the every day mundane stuff, trying to go to work, and then do all the other boring stuff, knowing what you know, and for me trying to make a difference can be a lot.
I used my in between work time to get a fresh perspective on things. I feel recharged now, and am getting my perspective back. In other words, this Soldier is getting ready to go back into the fight.

I think that’s what you have to do sometimes, just take some me time, and that can be hard under any condition, but especially with Gang Stalking.

Now for me it’s not just Gang Stalking, it’s the electromagnetic harassment and microwave harassment. I mean the being followed around stuff is bad enough, but the electronic stuff is just as bad or worst.

Now I could let this stuff totally get me down, and I have my moments, where I am like, I can’t believe this is happening, but you can let it bring you down, or you can bring it down.

You can see the glass as half empty, or part full. I am still at the part full stage. So I could use the electronic stuff as an opportunity to wallow in misery, or as an opportunity to test out new shielding and to see what does work, and I choose the latter. (Well after giving myself a mental shrug and hug of course.)

Also during my selfish me time, I caught up on movies. I mean with the research and stuff, I have been so neglected for my movies, and it was nice to catch up on a lot of sequels that I wanted to see. The me time was great. Sometimes you just have to remember what it was like to human and stuff. I still had the Gang Stalking, Electronic Harassment around me, but inside my home, that is my space, and that is what you have to claim anyway you can, and if you don’t have a home, then try to make you, your home.

It’s in the mind a lot of it, we can let it break us, or we can break it. (Did anyone ever see the movie brave heart? Good movie)

So anyways of all the movies that I saw or caught up on, I say Pirates of the Caribbean 3 and The Golden Compass, I am legend was sort of boring, (really boring) I saw a few others, but those were really good.

So fresh perspective. I think we have to wake up the potentials, or get others to help us wake up the potentials. I mean there are more like us asleep and if they were awake, think how much stronger we would be, and these potentials that the state will try to hunt and target like us, are probably the best hope to help try to turn this around.

Also we might not win, but we have to try to do what we can, no fate but what we make sort of thing.

I also believe that revolution starts in the hearts and the minds of the people, long before we ever see it out in the real world, and I think that is where people’s hearts and minds should be.
For me they have been really trying hard to break me, more so than usual. First the electronic harassment, they have ramped up the shacking room thing, so at first it felt like I was in a milkshake thing, being shaken, and then they would do the microwave thing really high, like on blast high, so it was a fun couple of months.

I learnt more about shielding and what works and does not work for me. Needless to say, I have my sleep back, and I feel way better. The harder they try, the harder I have to try.

I have been coming up with some new spring campaigns that some of us might want to do in public. We really need to wake up people, the ones that are still sleeping. The people that are following targets who are not aware need to help try to wake them up. Remember if we don’t the future will be even more messed up than now.

I also think if people are going to make a difference they need to have some kind of faith. I believe if a revolution is to happen someday in the future, then you need God now as much as the Israelites fleeing Egypt needed God. I can’t see a successful revolution in hearts, minds or deed without a strong guiding hand, stronger than the enemies at the gate.

I feel more hopeful, considering the buggers are trying to really have a go at me, but I am happy to be here, trying to help, trying to do what I can. I have the chance to make a difference in the lives of others, and that is something I always wanted to do, and no matter what was happening to me, it seems like this is something that I was always going to be doing.

We are watching the world wake up from history, and we have a chance to change history.
I am choosing to have my cup be half full for the time being. I am actually fairly happy right now, and that’s not just because I saw date movie, which was pretty funny. No, it’s because I have hope, faith, and I believe in God, and I believe in his power and ability to make a difference, I also understand more than before than faith is one of the most powerful things in the world.

So I am more hopeful than before, but I do know that there is a road ahead, but I will not let them make me miserable. You can be alive and dead inside, I choose to be alive, the outer man parisheth, but the inner man remains, (something like that, it’s from the bible, it just means that we get older, and decaying on the outside, but the inside person grows stronger daily.) I believe that to be true.

I bring you what hope I can. I give what I can, and what I have to give. I bring peace and hope and share that where I can. I know it’s a pretty scary time, for those of us who are awake and know what’s happening, but it’s also an exciting time, because we can stand and we can make a difference, we can do what we can, we can make or break history, we have the power, it’s all about how we choose to use it.

So anyways, if you can find some me time, no matter what you are going through, I suggest you do.

Out for a walk

for So I went out for a walk today. It was really nice. This month has been all together just so nice. The sun was just the right amount of warmth, and it was just so beautiful. It' the sort of day you dream about, maybe I did. I went for a walk cause I am offline today. I woke up and my telephone and Internet were just gone. It was like ok. I really needed to get some stuff done and the last while has been sort of problems with the Internet and things like that. Plus there are all these other weird things happening with my phone line it's hard to explain. Like yesterday I called someone from one connection, they could not hear me, so I called back the same number on the land line and ofcourse someone completely different answered the phone. I could see that I had dialed the right number, but I called again sagangstame thing. Plus sometimes the phone upstairs in my neighbours home rings, I hear nothing at my end in my apartment, but then I get a message on my answering machine. The phone company has offered to look into it and to try to bill me if the problem is on my end. investigations, what category does that fall into? Anyways I hope they get the problem fixed soon, but theny time outside today. Plus since the phone going dead without any dial tone was what would happen at the other apartment I am sure it's being done from the same source. I understand this is outside of the guidelines, but then so is everything else, however it's something that should be getting reported, so here it is. From what I understand there are guidelines that should be getting followed and cutting off my phone/Internet service is not one of them. So many targets report these sorts of interferences. Sometimes you just have to watch them in action and see the stuff that they do, and come up with. They get the stupidest creatures working for them, and with them sometimes it's just frustrating, but that's the idea. Oh well.

It's weird you know it feels like the world has changed, but then I realise that it has not. The world is the exact same as it always was, the only thing that has changed is my perception of it. People snitching, spying, betraying, lying it's all the same as it ever was. My awareness is all that has changed. The world is as it always was. I don't know if that's a good thing or a bad thing, but that is where it is.

I had gone for a walk the other day as well, and it was so nice, people, children the park I walked past, it all seemed so nice, but in the back drop their is this knowledge. It's almost like in T2 (Terminator 2) You see Sarah at the park with the kid, and the swing, then you see the other Sarah, the one who is all too aware of the danger and the destruction that is about to happen, and then you get that really cool nuclear war scene. It happens so fast. I am not exactly expecting nuclear war, but my city for me has changed. I mean we are nothing better than the Stasi's were. People lying, spying and betraying each other. Then there is still the other scenes. People living their day to day lives. Some maybe not snitching and spying, some maybe not even aware of these happenings, like I was not just a year ago. That anniversary is up and coming. A year of being aware of this weirdness. I don't see how targets do this. Some for years and years. I guess I understand why some opt out of the game, or change sides, or just lose it. Anyways for today the world is just so beautiful and wonderful.

I decided to take some time and go to the park. I wanted to write and update you, my people out in cyberspace. Offline it's like cat has got every-one's tongue, and online it's just so different. Some people can actually talk about what is happening, offline it's harder. No one knows who they can trust, and they are scared, or happily going along with this, leading their little existences, hoping to stay off the radar of the powers that be. Knowing this time is coming slowly, but surly, like a woman who is about to give birth, the contractions of this end time, will start to come closer and closer together, till the moment is here. I think that is sort of how the bible described some of this stuff. It's all making sense. It never does at the time it's all written down, but prophesy unfolding is a pretty neat thing. One world government, global dominance, and a snitch force to keep everyone in line, mini contractions of this system that is soon fully to be born. People giving up their wills, and worshiping or bowing down to whoever and whatever. Yep humans pretty much do not change.

Back to my day. So I took a walk, it was a wonderful walk. It was a walk that was straight out of a dream. It was just so nice. It was like I had walked it before. It was just so familiar. I felt like I knew what would happen along the path I don't remember dreaming about the day or how it would be, but it was more like a feeling, like I knew what would happen along the path.

I knew that when I walked down a specific street, it would be like I would run into an old friend, and in a way I did. I expected to find this specific store at a certain point and there it was. Remember this is a path that I have never walked before, but I knew it with such certainty. Then after I left the store, I just realised or had a sense that I was going the wrong way, so after I changed directions, I walked the other way. I wound up in front of a police station. Today I was suppose to follow up on trying to get the reports filed, I had called and left a message yesterday, to say that I would be calling back today. So I really did not want to go in face to face, I mean we all know my wonderful journey thus far, and I was just going to walk away, but I had the strongest feeling that I was suppose to go in, you know, like I had already done this. So I bucked up the courage, I did not have any of my notes with me. I mean I didn't have the report printed out, so I could not just leave a copy of that with someone, which is the advice I received last week. Like I said I would have walked away, but it was just so familiar, just like everything else on that path. I have heard people describe this before, I think I have forgotten a lot of this spiritual stuff that I know on the one hand. So anyways I went in. I ran into this really youthful looking officer. He really looked very young. However he seemed really nice. Now I use to think I could tell if people were good or bad, etc, but ofcourse the last year of my life has taught me differently. Remember I was the one with everyone in my life helping directly or indirectly to ruin me. Most of the people I thought I knew or sort of trusted were a part of this, however he just seemed so familiar. The conversation flowed more or less, and to make a long story short he is going to try to update the report from December. The one where office Broker really messed up the report that I filed, and based on the stuff that I have seen, and that has happened to other targets, probably intentional.

So anyways I have no assurances that this officer will do anything different than the others have, I did not do all the things that I know that I am suppose to do when interacting with the police force, since I realise that targets are not able to trust the people they were taught to trust. I have no guarantees, that he will do anything different. My guarantees are his word. Are people's words worth anything anymore? He seemed really nice, but then so do a lot of other people including sociopaths, and pedophiles, that's why they are able to get away with that stuff for such long periods of time. The main thing that I am going on is that it felt like what I was suppose to do. No more importantly it felt like something I had already done, and the physical here and now was just this formality. There were these awesome flowers out on the road today, nothing out of the ordinary, but how many times have I stopped to smell the roses in the last year? It was just so nice to do that today. I really don't know how I manage to spend so much time inside. Yet I do.

I am going to cut this post short. I am in the park and I am out of juice or soon will be. So all I have is my own sense of this was what I was suppose to be doing today, and the word of a really nice looking youthful officer, who seemed sincere, but don't they all. So we will see what we will see. Anyways, I am going to enjoy the rest of the day, and the moment I am back online, or get to a cafe, I will get this cool mellow post out to you.

Peace out.